The President of the World looked down at the message etched in white on his dark wooden Presidential Suite desk. He hadn't expected the reply from Slithers 45 to come like this when, at his first Interplanetary Video Conference, he'd suggested to The Kingdom of Slithers 45 that their two planets might Twin as a gesture of Interplanetary Goodwill. He'd even followed up his Twinning Suggestion with a Christmas Card and message carefully transmitted on a wavelength that his advisers said was monitored by the inhabitants of that far-away giant gas surrounded planet called Slither 45.Furthermore, the message wasn't even polite:
Hi Pres (Just a bit too familiar!)
Thank you for your Christmas Card, which was received yesterday, your Interplanetary good wishes of the season and your request to Twin with Slither 45. We are sorry but we must decline your generous offer.
As you may know, our planetary cycle does not revolve around a year, like yours, but instead something similar to 1000 of your years and we don't die as you do but instead metamorphose. By coincidence, as you celebrate your Christmas with Wise Men, crystallised water in the air above a dry and hot desert (Did we interpret that correctly, it seems so unlikely?), the population of Slither 45 will be descending from our outer atmosphere to the mud flats below to congregate together for our cyclical procreation.
Like your Christmas, this event is indeed a time of great joy. As you may be aware, slithers are hermaphrodite and will share DNA with possibly hundreds of others in our wriggly celebrations as we burrow and writhe joyfully in the soft mud of our home planet for around two of your Earth years. After we have then given birth to around 1000 new Slithers each, we metamorphose from the physical back into gas and energy and ascend back into Slither 45's beautiful methane rich atmosphere. Soon, the pull of our nearest star will metamorphose the older of us into pure energy who will then move into the outer layers of our atmosphere. Soon after, billions of new Slithers will depart our home planet to travel amongst the stars and galaxies of our and other universes in the quest for knowledge and personal realisation.
So, you can see, there really are too many differences between our species that would make Twinning difficult, above all your existence only as physical beings, so we must decline your kind offer.
By the way, something that puzzled even our best thinkers, why have you only three Wise Men? Is there something on Earth that prevents them sharing their wisdom with the rest of your species? Isn't sharing the greatest pleasure for any member of your kind?
Your practice of giving physical gifts at Christmas also intrigues us. Does your species not distribute enough for the needs of all freely as a normal part of your lives and, if not, why not since you are all equally on the planet together?
Signed
W Riggly for All of Slithers 45
The President of the World sat back on his huge leather chair, placed his feet contemptuously onto the message etched into his Presidential oak desk and tuned his TV remote to more reassuring Christmas Carol festivities. Later he would meet other World leaders for drinks and gossip and perhaps a round of golf.
Intriguingly, he could see from the newscasts that Slither 45 technology had not got his State Reply quite right. Apparently, a very large number of desks had been etched with the Christmas reply from Slither 45.
Perhaps, therefore, the President of Earth mused, some good would come from his initiative (of which he had been rather proud before he got the reply).
At least the boom in replacement desks that would follow in the New Year would stimulate the world economy so the World would indeed have a Happy Christmas and Prosperous New Year.
THE END
A note from Author Rob Hopcott:
Every year, I write a Christmas short story or flash fiction for all my friends online and otherwise instead of sending out Christmas cards and this free online short story for 2010 continues my short Christmas stories tradition.
It is a small thing but it pleases me and I hope it gives others some pleasure.
Perhaps you would also like to read some of my Christmas stories from previous years :-)
For last Christmas's short story and details of previous years free online short Christmas stories see:
Bah Humbug, Share Dealing and Morris Dancers - by Rob Hopcott
A Merry Christmas to all, and a Happy New year!
Bye for now
Rob
Rob Hopcott - online author
Note: this Christmas short story is copyright Rob Hopcott 2010, all rights reserved. All characters and places in this Christmas short story and other free on-line humor, short stories, flash fictions, science fictions, micro-fictions, sudden fictions, post card fictions or very short stories on this site, are fictitious and no reference is intended to any person or organization, living or otherwise.
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